serendipityyes (serendipityyes) wrote,

I'm reliving a part of my life that I desparately never wanted to see again. And all I can do is hope with every bean of my body that the outcome is not what it was the first time. I know there isn't much I can do. That is the hardest part. I don't even have words right now. I just feel very helpless and sad.

I started this entry a week ago, leaving it unfinished because I was to overwhelmed to speak another word. And today, today has been a very unsettling day. It seems as though something keeps unraveling in my life and I'm not sure why or even how to handle the majority of it. It's one bad thing after another. Just when I think to myself that "it's not that bad, it could be worse", it gets worse. Something else knocks me down.
This is all making me very overwhelmed and just beyond unsettled -- so much so that I've sat here for 4 hours staring at the walls, trying to make sense of something. Trying to find something that I even remotely feel in control of.
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